Order a drink like a man


My full time job is as a restaurant bartender. It’s a good job and I have good co workers. I don’t want to do

it for the rest of my life, but it suits me just fine. I get to meet and talk to people, I have regulars, I have connections. The people watching is unparalleled except for maybe the airport and Walmart.


People are also asshats.

They are simultaneously the best and worst part of my job.

I could probably write a book about the ins and outs of restaurants and bars and all of the things that happen in them. I do have one particular pet peeve that drives me nuts.

People don’t know how to order a drink and then get upset with me because they didn’t know what they ordered.



Here’s a quick lesson:

Tall –means more coke/soda/tonic whatever, you are not getting more alcohol. Just a bigger glass. Usually no upcharge. If you want more of a kick get a…

Double — More liquor, many places will default to a tall glass. Neat is the same as a shot (ish), never touched ice. Rocks glass instead of a shot glass. It’s not cheap. This should be obvious. Apparently not.

Chilled Shots – It’s either prechilled, or its going to be watered down. Bars mix with ice and then strain. Ask if you care that much. Dont scowl at me because we dont keep the well (cheap) tequila on ice.

I have countless stories of people whining at me because they don’t understand how drinks work, but the worst by far goes something like this.

Late 20’s/Early 30 something: “So like I want a margarita bro.

Me: “preference on tequila?

This dude: “I don’t want any of that shit..” gestures disdainfully “on the glass.”

Me: “Cool, no rim, do you want Patron? Hornitos? Sauza for cheap?”

Douche Canoe: “And can you put it in a regular fucking glass bro?” Grins at his compatriots because margarita glasses are so absurd its some kind of gross sin of humanity

Me: “Okayyy, I can do a highball glass, so just well tequila?”

Dumpster fire: clicks tongue “pff nah man I’m all about that patron!”


I promise you.

With everything in me

I’ve never judged a guy for ordering a margarita or any other drink if that’s what he wanted.

But THAT guy, I judged hard.

Order what you want. Own it. Don’t be that ridiculously insecure that you can’t be seen in public with a piece of stemware.

If you love cosmo’s, go for it. Anyone who laughs at you truly has no idea of whats in a cosmo.

It’s like pure booze.

Look it up

Cocktails are cool.

Beer is also cool

Do you. Have an idea what your ordering. And don’t spend money just to spend money.

Getting that bent out of shape over a drink because you don’t look manly enough is probably the least masculine thing you could ever do.

Be better






2 thoughts on “Order a drink like a man

  1. Pingback: To make a man… | Deliberately Human

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